me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize