I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
