I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
