she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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