I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
