After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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