I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize