mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize