they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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