meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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