he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
