i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
