He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
