We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize