how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
