My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
