I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
