i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
