why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize