is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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