Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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