dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
