One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
