hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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