I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
