Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Are we still banned from the library?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
They are going to name an STD after you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize