Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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