Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my shit smells like andre
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
foreskin is a definite game changer
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
