I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
