We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
