he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How external is "for external use only"?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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