think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
