you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
