Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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