Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize