He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
