Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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