wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
