when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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