4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We're like a lot better than the average bears
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Damn victory sex feels great
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
