omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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