It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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