Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
