why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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