just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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