I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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