And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
