Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i need some magic done to my vagina
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
