Need sex. Gaining weight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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