I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
