You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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