I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
