I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I touched a dick in church today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
