Kareoke will never be a sober sport
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
