the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
