I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
