Kiss
Puke
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize