You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize