TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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