Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
