We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
