it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
