this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
