My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
