real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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