I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
