is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
